Harbans' Top 12 tips to create a Modern Family

- Always wear a tie and clean shirt if you are the head of the family, preferably with a nice knitted sleeveless jumper. (When buying a jacket, choose one with plenty of pockets).
- Always have a small notepad and a pen handy - for making lists
- Teach your children to speak English at all times - even if their mother doesn't understand them
- Watch the Six O'Clock News from the BBC every day - be sure to 'tut' loudly when there is bad news.
- Change into comfy slippers when home from work
- Always end each sentence with 'Please' or 'Thank You' when out and about and offer to help people with their trolleys whilst shopping
- Make sure you watch the Queen's Speech on Christmas Day
- Learn to write poetry (it doesn't have to be good)
- Always offer the postman a cup of tea - even if he looks busy
- If you live with your landlady, remove your shoes when walking up the stairs late at night
- Avoid eating garlic or onion before meeting English people
- When shaking hands with people, look into their eyes and smile - Make sure your smile reaches your eyes, even if you're unhappy